“Daulton Varsho hit a motherfucking walk-off grand slam”

“Shocked that I saw a Santander Jays game tbh, that’s like seeing the Loch Ness monster. I distinctly remember saying to a buddy in the stadium that night that the 2025 Jays were garbage, featuring a bunch of minor leaguers who maybe didn’t belong in the show. One of the coldest takes of my life. ”

“I yelled out “short kings unite” when Alejandro Kirk was batting, got a pretty big laugh. Generally I don’t like the people who shout dumb shit like that, but hey when inspiration strikes you gotta heed the call.”

“Ohtani dinger, Toronto W”

“Tough one. At least Trout went deep though. Also got to see a position player pitch. Long live Witt Merrifield.”

“Cole Caufield’s final game in the minors, he scored the game winner. The Marlies blew a 5-1 lead. What’s not to love?”

“My buddy was the only Sharks fan in Ontario, he gave me a Sharks jersey to wear and at one point we were briefly on TV when San Jose scored. ”

“Ray Rice had 280 rushing yards, which led me to be a huge Ray Rice fan for his entire career. Right up until the end there. Not so much after that one thing. Kenny Britt also had 125 rec yards, I now choose to focus on that. ”

“Zydrunas Ilgauskas dropped 30. We came for LeBron but stayed for Big Z”

“This was the first professional game I’d ever attended, on a grade 8 trip to Toronto. We didn’t know anybody in Tampa’s outfield, so we heckled Jays outfielder Shannon Stewart instead. As John Mulaney says, 13 year olds are the meanest people in the world, they terrify me to this day.”